The Human Conundrum
by autumnfloweres
Summary: G1. A handful of Autobots and Decepticons are turned human. This will not end well for us... Full of snarky medics, stupidly noble commanders, and plenty of humor. Getting rewritten.Sporadic updates. Rated T for my ridiculous language.
1. Chapter 1: Well Damn

**Chapter 1: Well Damn**

**AN: Hehe. Uh….Sorry? I know I haven't updated in like what 2 years? Oops. Well Im back now! Kinda. I have decided to re-write this thing. Seriously, I looked back at it for the first time a few days ago and all that I could think was 'Dafuq is this?' Anyways, here is the revised first chapter! Woohoo!**

The Autobot base was quiet for the first time in weeks. The Decepticons had been busy, constantly attacking military bases and labs, searching for any type of energy that they could convert to energon. It seemed every time the Autobots dragged themselves back to base, tired and bruised, there was another distress call.

Everyone was tired and cranky and even the gentlest of them were liable to snap at any time (Just ask Jazz. The poor mech had said one wrong word to Bluestreak, and all hell broke loose. It took three Autobots to pry the sniper off of the unfortunate race car).

It was around 3:00am at the Autobot base and Prowl was walking down the straight hall towards his bunk room. He had just finished a shift at the command center, and the tactician wanted nothing more than to curl up on his berth and recharge. Preferably for at least 12 hours. Primus help the mech who tried waking him up.

He had his doorway in his sights when he heard light footsteps coming from behind him. Prowl paused, and the footsteps paused with him. Now that he was paying attention, he could hear faint snickers echoing in the hallway around him. He knew that voice. He turned, ready to deliver a verbal smack down, and was met with a face full of water balloon. Shuttering his optics to try and clear what he had just realized was blue paint, Prowl glared at the Autobots in front of him.

Sideswipe was leaning on his brother as both twins were trying not to collapse from laughing so hard. At their feet was a bucket full of what seemed to be multi-colored paint balloons. Prowl sighed. He _so _did not feel like dealing with this right now. He already had a headache, and Ratchet would have his ass if he crashed again.

The twins finally managed to relax enough that they could support themselves, and each picked up another balloon. Prowl was too busy trying to wipe some of the paint off his face to notice the jiggling projectiles that were flying straight towards him. The first one (Pink, he noticed somewhere in the corner of his mind) hit him square in the forehead, and the second hit a bit lower, splashing his shoulder and doorwing, and turning them a fluorescent green.

The black and white Autobot sighed as he felt his processor begin to glitch. Primus really did hate him. As his face rushed towards the floor, one last thought ran through his head. 'Well,' he deadpanned in his mind, 'at least I will be able to rest now.'

The twins laughed as their superior hit the floor, but the laughter slowly turned into nervous chuckles when they realized that Prowl wasn't getting up anytime soon. Those chuckles turned into full-blown panic when they noticed the resident medic come wandering around the corner.

Ratchet had just got finished repairs on Hound after the scout had taken a shot to the shoulder in the last battle. He was tired and in a bad mood and ad half a mind to just curl up in the hallway to recharge. As he reared around the corner, the first thing he noticed was the guilty look plaguing the faces of the twins. As he looked around to see what they did wrong (they only made _those _faces when they did something horrible), and he noticed the paint splattered black and white Datsun lying face-first on the ground.

The CMO looked at the Second in command, and then the twins, and back to Prowl. He narrowed his eyes and glared at the two Lamborghinis. The twins looked at Ratchet, glanced at each other, then turned and fled as if Unicron himself were chasing them.

Ratchet just heaved a sigh and palmed his face. Pulling two wrenches out of his subspace, he threw them with a practiced ease.

Two clangs rang out in the base, followed by two heavy thumps. Ratchet sighed again, and started to slowly make his way towards the two unconscious front liners, grumbling to himself all the way.

"It's too early for this shit."

The next day, the Autobots were called out on yet another battle-to-be. Prowl had recovered from his CPU crash thanks to Ratchet (Not to say that said medic hadn't whacked him upside the head with a wrench afterwards). Unfortunately for him, Optimus ordered that Sideswipe and Sunstreaker be released form the brig, where Ratchet had quite literally thrown them for making Prowl crash. The tactician had got a small amount of pleasure from hearing the two hellions were in the brig (Not that he would tell anyone that).

The Decepticons were attacking a military base. Again. Getting real tired of your shit, Megatron.

Ahem. Anyways…

The Autobots arrived at the base to discover the Cons leeching energy from the main power console. They jumped right into battle, and tried to drive the Decepticons away, while trying not to stomp on the humans that so stupidly tried getting a front row view on the robotic beat down the Bots were delivering.

It was the usual type of battle. Megatron and Optimus grappled as their warriors battled around them.

"There is no point, Prime!" The warlord yelled as he aimed a punch at his enemies face.

Optimus fluidly dodged the punch and threw out a kick towards Megatron's knee, which the gunformer blocked.

The semi-truck sighed. He was so done with this slag, and he just wanted Megatron to shut the hell up and be quiet while they fought for one.

Damn warlords and their need to spit out a useless monologue.

Both armies were limiting weapon fire due to the large machine sitting in the middle of the base. Neither side knew what the hell it did, nor did they really want to be blown sky high(Because they all knew humans and their love of things that go boom). Unfortunately for them, the initial Decepticon raid had left the device in an unstable condition, panels missing and wires sparking all over the place.

Both Wheeljack and Ratchet were working on the weapon, trying to disassemble it before it blew them all to hell. They didn't notice as a random and panicking scientist ran past the machine, cutting himself on a stray panel. A few drops of blood made it into the machines inner systems and it started to emit a low hum.

"We cut this wire!" Yelled Ratchet over the sound of the battle. He and Wheeljack were knelt down next to the machine, looking at the array of wires and trying to figure out which would kill any power flooding into the device. The medic had a blue wire in his hand.

"No we cut this wire!" Yelled the engineer as he held onto a red wire. "That one will make it explode!"

"Oh, you would have experience in that!" was the snide remark.

Suddenly, their decision was made for them as a stray shot went flying by and struck the machine, hitting right where there was an open panel. Ratchet barely had enough time to think 'Oh fuck' before he and his friend were blown backwards.

All there was at that point was white. The machine exploded, leaving no time for anyone to duck for cover, or even to throw someone else in front of them, although many tried.

Yeah, we're all looking at you Starscream.

The blast threw everyone to the ground. Not a single transformer, whether they were Autobot or Decepticon, was left standing.


	2. Chapter 2: Um

**Chapter 2: Um…**

Ironhide opened his eyes, instantly trying to dim them due to the sudden influx of light. To his surprise it didn't work. Slowly he sat up and rubbed the back of his head, feeling a warm fluid run through his hand. Still slightly disoriented, the warrior brought his hand in front of his face. He stared at the red fluid for a good fifteen seconds before he realized that he wasn't looking at energon, but at blood. Human blood.

The first thought that ran through his head was that he had landed on a human. Scrambling to his feet, he suddenly wondered why he felt so small. Bringing his hand back up to his face, a sudden realization struck him.

Oh HELL no.

"What in the name of Primus is goin' on here?" He yelled out into the desert. The human base had been completely obliterated, but Ironhide had more things on his mind at the moment. Like why the hell his hand wasn't metal, but instead flesh. Looking down, Ironhide felt a split second of full blown panic. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep and wake up with everything normal again. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and pinched his arm. Yelping, he rubbed the sore area and groaned.

Not a nightmare then.

Damn.

The weapons specialist took a look around. Everyone else was still unconscious, Autobot and Decepticon alike. Included were the opposing Commanders, the Decepticon seekers, Soundwave, Prowl, Ratchet, the Twins, and Wheeljack. They were all human too.

Ironhide reached up and felt his hair. As it fell in his face, he noticed it was a dark red, like someone had taken blood and darkened it to the point it was almost black. He had a medium tan, like that of a farmer, and was about 5'6.

He was dressed in worn blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and a plaid red button up, which was open to display the Autobot symbol on his shirt.

The former transformer rose unsteadily to his feet and slowly began to make his way towards his commanding officer, all the while making sure all the Decepticons were still unconscious. Something in the back of his mind informed him that they were all (thankfully) clothed.

It was strange, but he decided his mind couldn't handle that right now.

Kneeling next to Optimus, he gently began to try to shake him awake. "Optimus, wake up. Optimus. Hey Prime. " He emphasized each word with a shake, and slapped the man upside the head at the word 'prime'.

Suddenly, the Autobot leader groaned and reached for his head. Opening his eyes, he saw Ironhide looking at him with one dark red eyebrow cocked. "Ironhide…? You look…human…" The old warrior just shrugged and rolled his eyes. "No shit. Have you seen yourself Prime?

Optimus looked at himself, then did a double take. He brushed his strange blue hair out of the way. Even he knew it was a strange color for human hair.

Optimus was also wearing blue jeans, although they looked a little less worn then Ironhide's. He had a blue shirt and a red leather jacket that was opened. The jacket had a white stripe followed by a blue strip on each sleeve, directly between the elbow and shoulder.

"What happened?" he asked his old friend.

The former mech just pointed to the smoldering remains of the weapon. Optimus closed his eyes and laid his head back on the ground. He wasn't even going to try thinking about that right now.

"Any fatalities?" Ironhide shook his head.

"None, by the looks of it. But everyone is still unconscious"

They suddenly heard a noise besides them. Optimus re-opened his eyes and turned his head to the sound of the noise, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Megatron and Soundwave were beginning to awaken.

Both Autobots quickly got to their feet and adopted a defensive pose. They didn't know how the two Decepticons were going to react, but they had been at war long enough to know not to take any chances.

Soundwave made it to his feet, then landed unceremoniously back on his aft when he took a good look at himself. Megatron almost did the same thing, stumbling, but managed to catch himself before he hit the ground.

Megatron was about 6'5 with silver hair that fell on his face and eyes that were the same color as rubies. He had on black jeans and a dark gray jacket covering an even darker gray shirt. Both he and optimus looked to be in about their early forties.

Soundwave was a few inches shorter with the same color eyes. At a first glance his hair, which was tied in a tight ponytail at the back, seemed to be black, but upon further inspection, Optimus realized that it was an extremely dark shade of blue. Soundwave had on dark blue jeans and a dark blue jacket which was accented with white. The collar of the jacket came to right below the communication officer's chin. He had on red sunglasses which mirrored his visor as a robot.

"What the slag is going on here?" Megatron said, which made Ironhide snort. Megatron rounded on the Autobots, then stopped in his tracks when he noticed the two human faces staring at him.

It was easy to tell who was who, for they still had distinct facial features. But it was strange seeing Optimus without his face mask. For as long as he had known the man as Optimus Prime, the face mask was always present. Megatron did notice that Optimus's features held slight similarities to Orion Pax.

Megatron shook his head. He didn't need to be told what had happened. It was pretty obvious from the destroyed machine sitting a few hundred yards away from them.

"Wake up the troops before I kill somebody…" he told Soundwave, slapping his hand against his head, wincing as he began to realize that human bodies were more sensitive than their old metal ones.

The Communications officer was stopped by Ironhide, who had stood his ground in front of the Decepticon.

"No one else gets woken up, unless they wake up themselves, until we get this settled. We don't need any more outside distractions." Optimus stated, holding up his hand.

Megatron glared at him, but stopped Soundwave with a flick of his hand. The former cassette player was getting ready to start a fight with Ironhide, who he saw as an obstacle to completing his mission.

"I say we call a truce until we get back into our, um…, normal bodies." Optimus said.

Before he could get a response, they were interrupted by a yell that made all the conscious humans cringe.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF FRAGGIN' PRIMUS WITH A HULA HOOP IS GOING ON WITH THIS?" Ratchet yelled, clambering to his feet. His outburst woke up most of the other humans that were lying haphazardly across the debris.

Optimus covered his face with his hands. This just wasn't his day.

The field was filled with groans and yells as everyone scrambled to their feet and took notice as to the transformations that happened to their bodies.

Slowly, they began to align themselves with their factions, except for Ratchet, who was a little to pissed off to move. He managed to be a little off to the side, in the middle of the two groups. The CMO was only about 5 ½ feet tall with short brown hair that stuck up in random places on his head. He could be estimated at around 40 years old. The medic had on tan pants and a lab coat, which was opened to expose the white shirt with a red cross on it.

Megatron faced his army. "Optimus and I were just discussing a truce until we return to our normal bodies. They will help us, and we…" he seemed to have trouble saying the next part of his sentence. "will help them." He cringed at the word 'help'.

There were murmurs of unhappiness, but no one said anything out loud. Then Starscream stepped forward. He was an inch or two shorter than the Decepticon leader and had messy black hair that fell in his face and blood red eyes that were glaring at his leader.

Starscream was wearing loose white jeans, which were a little dirty from lying on the ground, and a red jacket that became a bright blue at the elbows. He looked to be in his mid twenties. All the humans, including him, were wearing jet black combat boots. Starscream also had black fingerless gloves.

"What the frag do you mean truce? These are the _Autobots!_ What the slag is wrong with-" his tirade was silenced by a well-aimed slap that made everyone wince and Starscream hit the ground.

The Air Commander didn't move.

"Anyone else have a problem with my decision?" Megatron addressed his troops. Not a single voice was heard and not a single Decepticon moved.

The warlord turned back to Optimus. The Autobot leader was in what the humans called a 'huddle' with Prowl and Ratchet, who had finally decided to join the Autobot group.

Prowl was about an inch or two taller than Ratchet with a simple black and white sweater and tan pants. He had oval shaped glasses and medium length blond hair.

When Prime realized that Megatron was waiting for an answer, he turned to face his age-long enemy. Blue eyes met red. Years of battle had given each the ability to read the other perfectly.

The two commanding officers nodded simultaneously. They were thinking the same thing. There had to be a truce, no matter how each side despised it.

In perfect sync, the two leaders reached out and shook hands, making the truce official.

"We do not attack each other until this is solved. That is the deal." Megatron said. "Should one of us break that promise, the other is allowed to retaliate." Optimus nodded.

Both leaders joined their anxiously awaiting armies. Optimus addressed his carefully.

"None of you are to make any movements against the Decepticons until we have returned to our human bodies. Do you understand?"

Sunstreaker stepped forward, followed closely by his brother. As humans they looked exactly identical. Both had medium length pitch black hair and piercing blue eyes, the same as the rest of the Autobots. They looked around 20 in age. Sideswipe had a red streak in his hair, and Sunstreaker had a bright yellow.

The twins were also wearing the same thing, dark blue jeans, button up shirts that were rolled up to the elbows and buttoned. Sunstreaker had a yellow and black shirt, while Sideswipe's was red and black.

"It's their fault we're like this. I say we pound them into the ground, then solve the problem." Said Sunstreaker. He was answered with a few agreements and oppositions.

"No Sunstreaker." Optimus said. "We have a truce. Unless they attack us first, no one lays a hand on any of the Decepticons."

Sunstreaker glared, but decided against saying anything, and stepped towards his brother.

Meanwhile, Megatron was lecturing his army. "If you touch one of the Autobots, I will persona- "he paused then looked over to his left a little. Heaving a sigh, he walked over and dragged a disoriented Starscream to his feet, then dragged him over to the other two seekers.

"Here, take him" he growled at Thundercracker who quickly adopted the medic pose: one arm across the back, the victims arm around the carriers shoulder: of holding his commanding officer up.

The three seekers were wearing the same thing except for different colors, similar to the Autobots twins.

"As I was saying," Megatron continued, "If you attack any one of the Autobots until this ordeal is over, I will personally tear you apart and see to it that you are made into a paper-weight!" Even as a human, Megatron was intimidating, which caused a few of the Decepticons to shrink back a little.

Megatron looked down at his hands once more, becoming frustrated as his hair keep falling in front of his face. He didn't know how humans dealt with hair. To him it had no purpose.

Scanning his troops and their reactions to his order, the realization of what he just did hit him like a tsunami. He had made a deal with the _Autobots_, his sworn enemy.

'I should listen to Starscream more often' he thought, then quickly pushed that idea into a back corner of his mind.

The day he listened to Starscream as the day he joined the Autobots.

Pivoting on his heel, he spun to face the Autobots, who were waiting for him to say something, anything. Most of them had a look of distrust in their eyes, and he didn't blame them.

Instead, he smirked.

"Decepticons…" he roared, pausing to look back at his troops, who understood the order he was about to give, and they readied themselves.

"ATTACK!"


	3. Chapter 3: Whoops

**Chapter 3: Whoops**

**I just realized that I forgot to put the disclaimer in the first chapter. Oops. I don't own Transformers (Unfortunately) **

The moment after the order was given, the Autobot warriors prepared themselves for battle. It would have to be hand-on-hand combat; their weapons nowhere to be found.

Ironhide was particularly upset about that one.

Optimus was Megatron's first target. The Autobot leader was caught off guard, and Megatron managed to land one good punch before the Prime gathered his wits and was able to retaliate.

The blue-haired man blocked the next punch and glared at his enemy. "What happened to the truce?!" he yelled throwing a punch of his own.

Megatron sneered, catching Optimus hand and twisting until he lost his grip. "I do not make deals with Autobots!" He said, throwing a low kick and signaling the end of the conversation.

Wheeljack and Ratchet were staying out of the fight, brainstorming ideas on how to fix their situation. Since they had no idea of what the original purpose of the machine was, they really had no clue on how to rectify their situation. The CMO would glance around every few seconds to see if anyone was injured. It was at this point that he regretted not learning about human anatomy and medicine. Ratchet knew if someone got seriously hurt today, there was going to be little he could do.

Meanwhile, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were facing off against the three seekers on the other side of the impromptu battlefield. Sideswipe spared glanced at his brother and laughed. "Well this is interesting isn't it, Sunny?" he said, planting a hand in Sunstreaker's hair and messing it up. Said twin pulled his head away and glared daggers at the formerly red Autobot.

Starscream grew impatient and cleared his throat, trying to pause the twins impending fight. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker glanced at one another and grinned madly.

The two brothers charged the seekers, zigzagging to make it harder for the enemy to predict where they would attack from. Starscream sidestepped out of the way, letting his trine mates get beaten by the Autobots.

What an asshole.

Sideswipe tackled Thundercracker while Sunstreaker handled Skywarp. The red clad Autobot whooped with joy and jumped on the formerly blue Decepticon's back, laughing hysterically as his victim tried in vain to throw him off.

Sunstreaker went for a more conventional approach. He stepped forward and threw a powerful punch at the Seeker, who dodged and attempted a leg sweep. The former Lamborghini jumped and attemptd to roundhouse kick his attacker, only for his leg to be caught. He felt himself being thrown to the ground, and in his moment of disorientation, Skywarp struck, straddling his opponent and laying a beating on his face.

Sideswipe saw his brother in danger out of the corner of his eye and delivered one last debilitating hit to Thundercracker before jumping up and tackling the former purple seeker off of his twin.

Skywarp was thrown to the ground with Sideswipe on top of him, the Autobots hands wrapped around his throat. Sunstreaker stood off to the side, nursing his broken nose and making sure Thundercracker stayed down.

Ratchet, who was trying to find a spot to jump into the battle, noticed Sunstreaker holding his face, and nimbly started to maneuver his way through the small fight. He growled under his breath as Ironhide, who had been battling Soundwave, crashed into him. He pushed the protesting Autobot off of him, and continued making his way to the injured twin.

The Air Commander stood off to the side and continued watching the slightly one-sided fight between Sideswipe and Skywarp. It was kind of embarrassing how bad the seeker was getting bashed into the ground.

Starscream sighed and reached down into his boot and pulled out a long, sharp dagger. He always carried a back-up weapon, just in case. One never know when they might need it. It had been on him as a robot, and remained in the same place as a human.

Walking over to Skywarp and Sideswipe, neither of whom saw him (the Autobot was too busy gleefully choking the life out of his opponent, and the Seeker was trying his best _not_ to die), he grabbed the latter by the back of the shirt and pulled the surprised Autobot towards him. In one quick and practiced motion, he twisted Sideswipe's hand behind his back with his left hand and put the dagger to the young Autobots throat with his right.

"_Slag!"_ thought Sideswipe. He instantly stopped struggling, not wanting to risk injuring his neck. Ife he had still been in robot form, he might have risked it, but he was unsure of the limits of his new fleshy body. Starscream smirked as he felt the Autobot stop moving in his grasp.

It was then Ratchet finally arrived to the former yellow twins side and noticed what had befell his fellow Autobot. He growled, moving towards the Seeker and his victim, and using Starscream's blind spot to his advantage.

"Sunny!" Sideswipe managed to yell before Starscream twisted his arm harder. "Shut up!" he growled, but it was too late. Sunstreaker had already noticed his brother's predicament and was stalking toward the Decepticon and his twin.

Starscream's response was to press the knife deeper into Sideswipes throat, causing the Autobot to wince and Sunstreaker to stop advancing on them. While glaring at the Decepticon, he noticed the not so stealthy CMO attempting to sneak up in the Air Commander. Internally rolling his eyes at the medic, he figured he would at least try to keep Starscream's attention for a few moments.

"Either you let my brother go, or I swear to Primus I will kill you with my bare hands." Sunstreaker growled. Starscream smirked as he pressed the knife in harder, causing a few drops of blood drip down the knife and down Sideswipe's neck to pool on the hem of his shirt.

The former yellow Autobot winced and subconsciously rubbed his neck. His action made Starscream laugh and lessen the pressure on the knife. It was that moment Ratchet made his move.

Moving with agility Sunstreaker did not know he possessed, Ratchet made a move to put the seeker in a chokehold. However, his plan failed as the forgotten Thundercracker made a tremendous effort to throw a lone rock at the medic.

Ratchet paused, which gave Starscream enough time to back away from his would-be attacker and sneer at the two Autobots.

"Now, you are going to back up and put your hands on your head. Me and my little friend here," he gave Sideswipe a little shake. "Are going to go back to my army over there and you are not going to follow until we reach our destination. Do you understand?" he asked, giving his captive another little shake "Because, if you don't, you are going to become an only child. And you, medic, are going to lose a patient."

Optimus was trying to land a punch on the ever elusive Decepticon leader when he heard the voice of one of his front liners.

"Hey, Optimus!"

He stopped fighting mid-punch when he noticed that Megatron had stopped trying to defend and was instead staring at something off to their left. What worried him slightly about the situation was the fact that the warlord had a wicked grin on his face.

That was never a good sign.

Optimus whirled around and saw Starscream with his captive. He also noticed Sunstreaker and Ratchet follow up behind the Seeker and their teammate. Both of the Autobots walked around and stood so that they could see what was happening from the front. The young fighter and the medic were more pissed off then Prime had ever seen them (And that was saying something for Ratchet). Unfortunately, Optimus couldn't blame them. He would be pretty damn mad too.

"We got a bit of a situation here" Sideswipe said, throwing the Autobot commander the best grin he could muster.


	4. Chapter 4: Ah, Shit

**Chapter 4: Ah, Shit**

**AN: Sorry. Again. But really. Please don't expect regular updates. Seriously. **

Optimus turned and glared at Megatron, as if he thought the warlord had given the order, but was surprised when his enemy just shrugged his shoulders.

The now human Autobot Leader spun back around on his heel and looked questionably at Starscream, keeping an eye on Megatron just in case. The Air Commander sighed and shook his head. "Do I need to explain _everything_ to you?"

"We Decepticons have no guarantee that you Autobots won't find a way to return to yourselves to your former bodies, leaving us in these miserable fleshy bodies. With him," he nodded towards Sideswipe "We have insurance that you _will_ discover a solution to our problem, and that you _will_ share that solution with us. Does that make more sense now?"

Optimus was staring in disbelief. Megatron, on the one hand, was proud of his second-in-command for once.

Who would have thought that the seeker could actually have a plan that worked?

(On the other hand, he was slightly worried that the apocalypse was starting.)

Sunstreaker started forward, intent on saying something, but Ratchet beat him to it. The medic unceremoniously pushed past the shocked form of his Commander and stalked up to Megatron. The look on the Autobots face promised nothing but pain and death.

Ratchet then did the something that none of his comrades (or enemies for that matter) thought he had the guts to do. He grabbed Megatron by the lapel of the shirt and leveled a glare at him, which was pretty damn impressive given the foot difference in height.

"Listen up, you fragger." Megatron was too shocked by the medic's courage to do anything other than gape like a fish out of water "Tell your Pit-spawn of a second-in-command flyboy to let go of Sideswipe, or so help me, I _will_ kill you all."

There was a faint flicker of truth in Ratchets eyes, which surprised the Decepticon leader. He knew the Autobot medic had a reputation for his temper, but this was just fragging ridiculous.

Megatron finally snapped out of his disbelief and stunned silence. He pulled Ratchets' hand off of his shirt, and then forcefully pushed the Autobot away from him.

"Do NOT touch me, Autobot." He growled, then turned to Starscream and grinned at him, in a similar fashion a father would smile proudly at a son.

The Decepticon leader then turned to glare at the Autobots, especially the infuriated medic. "If you EVER touch me again, his blood will be on _your_ hands."

Optimus, Prowl, and Ironhide had to forcefully hold back Ratchet and Sunstreaker, who were both intent on wrapping their hands around Megatron's throat.

Not that they wouldn't be happy if the two succeeded, but now was so not the time.

Ratchet growled at the smug looking man in front of him.

"I swear to Primus, if you hurt Sideswipe, I will rip your throat out."

Sunstreaker pulled forward a little. "I think you mean _we _will rip his throat out." Megatron simply smiled at the threat, pissing off the already infuriated Autobots even further.

Wheeljack stepped forward from the crowd. He was wearing a lab coat similar to Ratchets, but his was buttoned up. The scientist had on black jeans and knee high green boots. He wore black fingerless gloves and his sandy blonde hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, leaving a little hair to fall in his face.

The resident engineer stood in front of the crowd and said what everyone else was thinking.

"So, what now?"

Megatron smiled wickedly. He pointed to Wheeljack. "You. You're the scientist. You're going to build a machine that restores us to our original forms. And, if you don't..." Megatron gestured towards his Second-in-command, who held the knife tighter against Sideswipe's throat.

"So, do we have a deal?" said Megatron. "You build a machine that returns all of us to our bodies and you get you soldier back." His grin widened. "I would decide quickly if I were you." He said when he noticed the Autobots were pondering their options. "If that knife goes any deeper, your warrior is going to be in trouble."

Starscream slowly put more pressure on the knife, causing Sideswipe to squirm and attempt to escape, but it was to no avail.

"Alright, Alright." Prime said, holding out a hand. He hated seeing any of his men hurt. "Just stop." Megatron and Starscream smirked knowingly and the latter released some of the pressure on the blade.

Sideswipe sighed in relief.

Prowl stepped forward. "If my calculations are correct, the Ark is about 9.5 miles that way." He pointed to a spot in a northern direction.

Megatron held his hand out in the direction of the Ark. "Then let's proceed, shall we?"

Before anyone could make a move though, the sound of jet turbines raced towards them as Ramjet and Astrotrain touched down in front of them. The humans instantly stepped back, not realizing how big they looked to humans. Ratchet actually fell backwards in shock and landed flat on his ass.

Astrotrain stepped towards them, pleased as the humans all took another step backwards.

"ASTROTRAIN! RAMJET! FOR ONCE I AM ACTUALLY GLAD TO SEE YOU!" Megatron yelled up at his soldiers.

The train/shuttle knelt down in front of Megatron, fully intent on poking the tiny human.

"Who are you and how do you know my name, fleshy?"

Megatron glared at him for the nickname. "I am Megatron, you fool!"

If he could have, Astrotrain would have raised his eyebrows. _This _was Megatron?

"M...Me...Megatron?" asked the triple changer as he held back a fit of laughter. The Decepticon leader continued to glare at him.

Ramjet stepped forward. "Why are you so… human..?

Megatron sighed. "Long story. Just tell that moron," he pointed to Astrotrain who had given up trying to hide his laughter and was now rolling around on the dusty ground, ignorant to the humans scrambling away. "to transform and transport us back to base."

The conehead nodded quickly and pulled Astrotrain to his feet. After a second of arguing, Ramjet smacked Astrotrain upside the head and he transformed into his shuttle mode. Megatron addressed the humans behind him. "Decepticons! Board Astrotrain. As for the Autobots," he faced Optimus. "Don't forget about our little deal." He pointed towards a very unhappy Sideswipe, who had given up struggling and decided to simply cross his arms and glare at the world in general.

Optimus nodded sharply before he narrowed his eyes at his enemy. "But be warned Megatron. If any harm befalls Sideswipe, the deal is broken, and we will not assist you in returning to your metallic bodies."

Megatron simply grinned and gave the Autobot a look that said 'Who? Me?' Before he boarded the ship. The rest of the Decepticons had already clambered aboard. The hatch closed behind him, and Astrotrain took off.

**On another note, have y'all seen Transformers 4? Fucking epic. Seriously. Optimus was done with that bullshit. **

_**CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD**_

**I was ridiculously pissed when they killed Ratchet. Granted, this was not my favorite version of him (G1 takes that spot), it's still Ratchet, and they really didn't need to kill him. **

**Optimus got his revenge though! *laughs maniacally in the corner* **

**Press that little blue button down there. Primus demands you.**


	5. Chapter 5: Not so much

**Chapter 5: Not so much**

**AN: So, I'm going to try doing two chapters at a time, considering that they are so short. You had all better friggin' love me for this shit. But seriously, don't blame me for this chapter. Its 3am and I feel high as a fucking kite. (Don't worry, not on drugs. As an EMT I see what that shit does to people. Nope to that.) Oh, and a tiny, itty bitty angst warning. Anyways, I am rambling. Again. Ok, I'm going to shut up now.**

Back on the ground, the remaining Autobots watched the ship take off. Sunstreaker looked like he wanted to chase after it and his twin, but he held himself back.

Or maybe it was the three Autobots whose grips put the Jaws of Life to shame.

Either one.

Ratchet was furious. He didn't show it, as it would ruin his hard earned image, but he had a soft spot for the two hellions.

He had put them back together so many damn times they were almost a permanent fixture in his medbay. The medic wasn't sure exactly what he would do without them. Or even one of them.

Damn twins.

Optimus spoke up "We need to get back to base, and figure out what happened to us, and why we are no longer robots."

"What about Sideswipe?" Asked Sunstreaker. The former yellow mech was no longer fighting and looked like he just wanted nothing but to break down and cry.

The Autobot commander put his hand on his soldiers shoulder, suddenly realizing how young the twins really were. The weight of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks.

"We will find a way to get him back. But for now, our main concern is finding our way back to base. I promise you Sunstreaker, I will personally make sure that no harm comes to your brother."

And he meant it.

_On Astrotrain_

Starscream pushed Sideswipe away from him once Astrotrain had taken off. There was nowhere for the Autobot to go on a ship full of Decepticons, along with the fact that the ship itself was a Decepticon.

What was he going to do, jump?

Sideswipe quickly got out of the way of any of the Decepticons, and sat huddled in a corner. Normally, he and his brother would be behind the safety of energon bars, and they would try to annoy the living slag out of guard who had the misfortune of watching him.

But now, there were no bars, it wasn't just one guard, and worst of all, he didn't have his brother with him. They had never been separated for more than a day, and even then, it was the worst time of Sideswipes life. He already felt his chest aching.

Sunstreaker was his other half, and right now Sideswipe needed his brother.

Instead, he was on a ship surrounded by the enemy.

Fuck.

He didn't know how long he sat there, wallowing in his thoughts. After what seemed like hours, he realized that Astrotrain was landing. He started to panic.

Scrambling to his feet, he looked around for a way out. But there was none. He was surrounded with nowhere to go.

Sideswipe decided he wasn't going without a fight. He charged the closest human to him, Skywarp, and knocked him down with a well-placed punch to the jaw.

Before Sideswipe could move to the next Decepticon though, one person grabbed his right arm, and someone else grabbed his left. He struggled fervently but stopped when Megatron stood in front of him. He glared hatefully at the Decepticon leader.

"Now, Autobot. You are vastly outnumbered and without your brother. Do you really think that it is a good idea to punch out one of my warriors?" Sideswipe spat in his face.

Megatron, surprisingly, did nothing. He wiped the spit and turned to Soundwave and Thundercracker, who each had one of Sideswipes arms.

"Take him into the base and restrain him. The brig will serve no purpose. The bars are far enough apart that he could just walk out."

Thundercracker and Soundwave nodded and began to lead Sideswipe into the base, and the rest of them followed suit.

The hallways seemed so much larger to the human Decepticons. Luckily, they managed to make it to the command center without seeing any of the other soldiers. Megatron wasn't sure how his army would react to the news of them being turned humans.

That was not something he looked forward to.

Unfortunately for him, when they reached the command deck, it was filled with every Earth based Decepticon.

Megatron did the appropriate thing and facepalmed.

The second the Decepticons saw the humans, they all started laughing. And not just a little chuckle. This was full out I-can't-breathe-I'm-laughing-so-hard kind of laughter. Megatron's face began to grow red from embarrassment and from anger. How dare his troops laugh at him?

He stalked straight up to the closest Decepticon, who happened to be Rumble. He and his brother were staring at Soundwave like he had three heads. They were also laughing so hard they needed to lean on each other for support. When Megatron reached the purple cassetticon he reared his foot back and kicked him as hard as he could.

A shock reverberated throughout Megatron's leg as he placed it back on the ground. As the pain wore away, he was pleased to see a reasonable dent in Rumble's leg. It seemed that they were stronger than a normal human being.

He spun to face the rest of the transformers, who had finally overcome their laughing fit. "Now that you morons have settled down, it is time to get down to business. Yes, we are humans, but only temporarily. But, good news is, some of the Autobots are also humans. They will actually be building the machine that will turn us all back to our natural forms."

Frenzy stepped forward, and frowned. "But why would they help you?"

Starscream decided this would be a good time to put in his two cents. "Because, we have leverage." He motioned forward Thundercracker and Soundwave, who dragged a limp Sideswipe with them.

Frenzy leaned over to get a closer look at the human between his boss and TC. "Is that one of the twins? Sideswipe I think?" Sideswipe lifted his head slightly to glare at Frenzy. Starscream looked smug. "Yes. Yes it is." He said, smiling and crossing his arms over his chest.

"So, what now?" asked Rumble.

Megatron crossed his arms and grinned smugly. "We wait."

_Outside of the ark_

"Finally!" said Ratchet as he stalked up to the intercom box that they had put in for the humans to alert the Autobots to their presence. That had been after Red Alert thought that Spike and Carly were Decepticons after they banged on the door and had almost opened fire on the poor kids.

"Red Alert! I know your listening! Let us in!" he yelled into the box. He was at the end of his patience, and was not in the mood for pleasantries.

Almost instantly, the security opened up to allow the humans inside. The medic smirked. It was good to be feared.

The humans made their way through the base towards the security center where Red Alert spent his days. They reached the doors and Optimus pressed the human sized button to open the doors. Every room had a large pad for the base residents and a small pad so the humans would have easy access.

The doors swished open and the small group entered the room. Red Alert swiveled around in his chair. "Opti-…" he stopped mid-sentence as he saw the small band of humans standing before him.

The high pitched squeal the erupted from the Security Directors vocalizer would have put the ever-screechy Starscream to shame. He jumped out of his chair and pointed his freakishly large gun at the group, not seeming to notice the blue sparks dancing around his head.

"You are you?" he screeched. Ratchet noticed the sparks playing around the mechs helm and went into full-blown rant mode.

"Red Alert! DON'T YOU DARE OVERLOAD YOUR PROCESSOR OR I SWEAR TO PRIMUS I WILL TURN YOU INTO A TOASTER!"

Red Alert lowered his weapon. He would recognize that tone anywhere. "Ratchet?" he asked, bewildered.

"WHO THE FRAG ELSE WOULD I BE!" yelled the infuriated medic. Optimus stepped forward and placed a hand on Ratchet shoulder. "Calm down. Yelling is going to get us nowhere." He said sternly.

Ratchet looked set to argue, but a look from Optimus had his settling with a glare in the security directors direction.

Red Alert stared, flabbergasted, at the small group of humans before him. There was no slagging way….

"Op-Optimus, s-s-sir?" he asked. The Autobot Commander nodded his head. "Unfortunatley, a small mishap at the location of our recent battle caused us and a small group of our enemies to be transformed into human beings."

The security director was shocked, but managed to compose himself. "What are your orders, sir?" he asked.

"We need to build a machine that reverses these effects. And we mustn't delay. Harm may come to one of our own if we do not hurry." Red Alert scanned the small group, noting the absence of one of the warriors.

"Where's Sideswipe?"

**If you like it, favorite and review please! They are much appreciated and will help get new chapters out quicker. **

**Also, feel free to point out mistakes! Positive criticism is always good! **


	6. Chapter 6: facepalm

**Chapter 6: *facepalm***

_In the Ark med-bay a few hours later_

"Son of a fragging glitch!"

Ratchet slammed his fists on the small table that he was using. Wheeljack took a step back, staring at his friend warily.

Ratchet liked to throw things when he was mad.

Not good for Wheeljack.

"Calm down. We'll fix this." Ratchet fixed a glare on his friend.

"Wheeljack. We don't know anything about how we were turned into humans. We have no schematics, no plans. Sideswipe's life depends on us, and we can't do a fragging thing about it!" He slammed his fists on the wooden table again, cracking it.

"Ratchet! Calm down! Breaking the table isn't going to help." He pulled up a chair and gently pushed the medic into it. "Just think. You'll figure something out."

Ratchet slumped forward, placing his face in his hands. There was a very short list of mechs that he had come to truly care for over the years, and somehow the damned twins had managed to worm their way onto it.

He wasn't used to being useless, and it _hurt._

Wheeljack pulled up another chair and placed it in front of his long-time best friend. Placing his hands on the medics shoulders, he waited until Ratchet looked at him to speak.

"Ratch. I know what you're feeling. I've known you long enough. You feel useless and helpless to do anything." As usual, the inventor could read him like a book.

Wheeljack pushed on his friends shoulders until the medic was sitting upright.

"Ratchet, you are Sideswipe's best hope. So get your head together, and help me figure this out. Okay?"

The CMO gave a small smile. Wheeljack always had a way of pulling him out of his moods.

"Ok, 'Jack. Let's get working."

Wheeljack smiled, standing up and gave Ratchet a friendly slap on the back. He wasn't prepared for it to make a decidedly not fleshy sound.

Ratchet noticed and grabbed Wheeljack's hand and flipping it palm up. He ran his fingers over the palm, squinting, and then froze.

"Get me an x-ray machine."

_The next day_

"Just as I suspected." Ratchet told Optimus. He held up the scans that he had taken. "Our bones, organs, and muscles are coated in a thin, yet sturdy, layer of organic cybertronium, the same thing our metal bodies are made of. I have deduced this as the reason we are stronger and faster than normal humans."

Optimus nodded his head. "That is defina-" He was interrupted when they heard a long scream coming from outside the doors. The two men ran to the doors and quickly opened them. Sunstreaker was lying on the floor in the fetal position, hands over his ears, screaming.

Ratchet quickly kneeled down next to the warrior.

"Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker! Calm down!" he said to no avail. The young man was still screaming at the top of his lungs. Wheeljack came running down the hall, surprised by the screaming. He didn't even get a chance to look at the fallen warrior before Ratchet shoved him forcibly towards the med-bay.

"Go get me some sedatives! Now!" Wheeljack rushed into the room and came back out with a syringe filled with a clear liquid. Working quickly, Ratchet pulled Sunstreaker's arm out straight and pushed the needle into his arm, depressing the plunger and introducing the sedative into the twins system.

The effects were almost immediate. The former golden warrior stopped screaming and went limp on the floor. A concerned Optimus quickly scooped him to his chest and carried the young man into the med-bay where he was laid on a human sized examination table. Looking around for Ratchet, he saw the medic holding his head and pacing frantically.

"Ratchet. What is the matter?" he asked. The medic stopped pacing. His face was pale, and his eyes wide.

"We have a problem."

_On the Nemesis_

The human Decepticons were starting to adjust to their circumstances. Years of being surrounded by humans left them able to fluently operate in their current bodies.

(Well, not without sending the cassettes on a food run. The two pranksters came back with nothing but soda and candy. Megatron made sure to make a mental reminder to smash their heads together once he was larger.)

Rumble and Frenzy had found some old chairs, similar to the plastic ones used in schools that they kept for human hostages. Even Sideswipe was allowed a chair. Unlike the others though, his arms were duct taped behind his back and his ankles to legs of the chair.

Unfortunatley, Rumble had the pleasure of guarding him with strict orders not to harm him. The cassette was not happy to say the least.

"So then, Sunny and I started to set up the contraption in front of the med-bay, so that it would catch the Hatchet by sup-"Rumble interrupted him. "If you don't shut up right now, I'm going to make you be quiet." Sideswipe gave him the most infuriating grin.

"Oh, and how is that? You can't hurt me remember?" he smiled at the purple mech sweetly.

Rumble didn't move. Suddenly, the mech's hand shot out and slapped a strip of tape over the Autobots mouth.

"Mmph!" Sideswipe tried to object, but his words were drowned out by the tape. Rumble leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head.

"Peace and quiet at last!"

Sideswipe glared at him.

The doors slid opened and Megatron walked in. He walked over to Sideswipe and crossed his arms. Turning to Rumble, he smirked. "It seems that you finally found a way to get the annoying twin to be quiet."

That earned him a death glare from Sideswipe.

But before the tyrant could speak again, the Autobot began to scream.

"What do you mean." Asked Optimus, a worried looking spreading over his features.

"Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are split-spark twins. They feel each other's pain, happiness, the whole deal. This also means that if they are apart for too long, they begin to lose it, as demonstrated earlier. If kept apart for too long….."

Optimus stood up to his full height. "What is going to happen Ratchet?"

Ratchet looked up at his commander with haunted eyes.

"If they are apart for too long, they will both die."

"Megatron!"

The Decepticon leader climbed up on top of the command controls with the help from Ramjet. Stepping on a button, he looked up at the picture on the screen with was currently occupied by the concerned face of a humanoid Optimus Prime.

"What do you want Prime?" Megatron sneered.

The Autobot leader was about to reply but was pushed out of the way by the furious form of Ratchet.

"Has Sideswipe been having a mental breakdown?"

Megatron glared. "Why should I tell you?" Ratchet got up closer to the screen.

"Unless you want to lose your leverage, you need to tell me if something is going wrong with Sideswipe." He growled.

Megatron folded his arms across his chest. "Yes, he has. Your warrior has been screaming randomly, and begging to be released and to see his brother. I had thought Autobots tougher than that."

Ratchet almost had an aneurysm right there.

"You fragging idiot! He is acting this way because he has been separated from his brother for too long. If they are not reunited soon. And I mean_ soon, _they will both DIE."

If Megatron was shocked or concerned, he didn't show it. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

The medic almost punched the screen.

Optimus gently shoved the furious CMO out of the way of the screen where Wheeljack grabbed his arm and pulled him off the control center, talking softly.

The Autobot Commander looked back up at the screen. "Megatron. What can we do to get Sideswipe released. We can supply you with energon or foo-" Megatron held up a hand.

"We are not interested in any of that."

He thought it over for a moment, until a brilliant idea flashed into his mind. He grinned maliciously, and glanced back at the screen.

"I will not release your warrior unless you are willing to trade another one of your soldiers for him."

Optimus was silent. While he didn't want to willingly put another one of his warriors, _his friends_, at risk, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were dying. Sunstreaker had become weak and frail, and Optimus could only guess the same thing was happening to Sideswipe.

Prowl stepped forward. "I offer to switch with Sideswipe."

Optimus shook his head.

"No. I ca- I won't allow it."

Wheeljack and Ratchet both stepped forward. But Optimus held up his hands.

"Friends. I do not believe it fair to put any of you in this position. I could not allow myself to do that to any of you. But something must be done."

He turned halfway back to the screen. "I accept your offer Megatron."

The Decepticon leader smirked and leaned back on his feet, crossing his arms across his chest. "So, who is the unlucky bot, hmm? Prowl, Ratchet, or even one of those annoying mini-bots? Wasn't one of them turned human? Bumblebee I believe?"

Optimus shook his head. "I cannot willingly put any of my men at risk. That is why…"

He took a deep breath.

Ratchet was _so _going to kill him for this.

"That is why I offer to trade myself for Sideswipe."

**Alright. Don't ask me how I managed to spit out three chapters in one night. Seriously. It's not a pretty picture. **

**Anyways!**

**Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Stupid Noble Idiots

**Chapter 7: Stupid Noble Idiots**

The Autobots stared.

And stared.

And stared some more.

Suddenly, all hell broke loose. Red Alert spazzed, falling to the ground with a loud thud. Prowl fainted, joining the security director on the floor. Ratchet pulled out a small wrench from his lab coat and stalked towards Optimus, only held back by a very surprised and flabbergasted Wheeljack. The CMO threw the engineer a look, but stayed where he was.

Ironhide groaned and slapped a hand over his eyes. He was _way_ too old for this.

Megatron's eyes widened significantly and his jaw dropped slightly. Starscream opened his mouth, but screeched when an unconscious Soundwave (Holy shit, was his head smoking? Could humans even do that?) toppled on him, almost throwing both of them off the computer console.

Ratchet pulled himself away from Wheeljack and walked up to stand face to face with Optimus. "Prime. You can't do this. You're more important than the rest of us. Let one of us go. Primus, frag it, let me go! Just don't sacrifice yourself." Ratchets temper got the better of him at the end, but he reined it in before he did something he would regret.

Optimus shook his head, his eyes closed. "All of you, I am sorry. Truly. But I cannot, and will not, put any of you at risk. I would rather go myself."

Megatron cleared his throat loudly, which shut up the arguing Autobots. After everyone was completely silent, he looked at Optimus questionably.

After taking a deep breath, the Autobot leader looked up from his position on Teletrann-1's main console.

"Where shall this trade take place Megatron?" The face of the Autobot leader was completely devoid of all emotion.

Megatron smirked. "This is noble, Prime. Even for you. Sacrificing yourself to the Decep-"

"Frag it, Megatron!" Optimus roared, pure fury showing in his deep blue eyes. "Just give me a place and time, and stop talking for once in your pit-spawned life!"

The warlord's eyes widened. He had never seen his old foe act like this. This was definitely Interesting…..

"Fine." He said, contorting his expression into a sneer. "We will have this trade tomorrow at the location of our previous battle. Noon."

Optimus nodded.

Megatron gave him a knowing smile. Clapping his hands together, he widened his grin.

"Very well then! It is set. We shall see you soon Prime." And with that, he smirked and shut off the screen.

After Megatron ended the conversation, Prime stayed in the same position for a moment, and then pushed himself off the super computer in order to speak to his troops, both human and machine.

Ratchet was glaring at him, tapping a wrench in his hand. Wheeljack was attempting to calm the furious CMO before he did anything rash. Bumblebee, who had decided to stay out of the fray, and who was wearing a yellow shirt with black sleeves and a hat with horns, came up and wrapped his arms around Optimus's torso in a hug. The Prime awkwardly patted his young soldiers back. In the human form, the small bot resembled a 15 year old. Far too young to be fighting a war.

After Bee had let go and joined the crowd, Optimus glanced at his troops. "Friends. I am sorry. But there is nothing else to do. I cannot willing sacrifice any off you, even those who are willing. Because of this, I must go. I can't do something to you that I would not do myself. It is against my code as a Prime."

Sunstreaker stepped forward from the small crowd. His face was pale, cheeks red, and hands shaking slightly, but he stood tall in front of his Prime. He walked up to Optimus, and stood in front of his leader. "You don't have to do this Prime. Let me go. I will just stay there with Sides. That way we can be together."

Optimus shook his head. "Sunstreaker, I made you a promise to get your brother back. And I am. It will be much safer for him here."

Sunstreaker put his hands on his hips. "And what about you, Optimus? How safe are you going to be?"

The leader bowed his head. "My safety means nothing compared to that of my friends." He held his hand up before anyone could say anything.

"I am going to my quarters now to prepare for the upcoming events. I will see you tomorrow." With that, he turned and began the long walk to his quarters, leaving the stunned Autobots to deal with the sudden deathly silence.

_The next day_

Optimus had gathered the high ranking officers and Sunstreaker in the command center of the ARK. This group contained Prowl, Ratchet, Sunstreaker, and the still robotic Jazz. Ironhide was left behind to maintain control of the base.

After everyone was assembled, they seated themselves into Jazz's seats, albeit a little smashed together, and took off towards the meeting site.

About ten minutes later, Jazz pulled up to the proposed meeting place, where Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, and Astrotrain were waiting. Sideswipe was standing in between Soundwave and Starscream, being held back forcibly because of his sudden attempts to get to his brother.

On the Autobots side, about thirty feet from the Decepticons, Ratchet had grasped Sunstreaker arm in a death grip in case the formerly gold twin tried to run, but Sunstreaker stood still.

Megatron spoke up. "Are we ready, Prime?" he smirked.

Prime nodded minutely.

"Let's get it over with"

The Decepticon leader nodded. "We will send your soldier over."

Before they could continue though, Sideswipe spoke up. "So who is the unlucky bot?" he said sourly. He had heard about the trade, but he was unsure of who exactly he was being released for. And while he wanted to be back with his brother, he did not want one of his friends to put themselves into his position, and into danger.

His question went unanswered.

Optimus stood up straight. "Ready?" Megatron nodded again. "On three. One…., two…, three."

On three Sideswipe was released and he began to take large steps towards his brother, but stopped when he saw who he was being traded for.

"No…" he breathed. "Optimus! Don't do it!" he remained rooted in his spot and refused to move, even going so far as taking a few steps back.

Optimus continued walking until he reached the young warrior.

"Sideswipe. Go. That's an order." He said pushing him towards the Autobots. Sideswipe spun around to face Optimus, digging his heels into the ground.

"Don't. Please." He pleaded. Optimus shook his head, and smiled at his young warrior, placing his hands on the young mans shoulders.

"I'm sorry Sideswipe, it is too late. But this is the least that I can do for you." With that he gave the man another shove. Sunstreaker had seen what was happening and raced to his twin, who was trying to pull Optimus back with a death grip on the Primes arm. Sunstreaker reached his brother and managed to pry him off just as Megatron reached out and grabbed onto Optimus arm, and yanked him into the small Decepticon group.

The Autobot leader was caught off guard and stumbled, and was knocked flat on his back by a harsh uppercut from Megatron. The latter picked up the other man by the lapel of his shirt.

Still holding onto the shirt, Megatron twisted to face the small group of Autobots who were busy trying to hold back a very pissed off CMO. Ratchet's face was blood red and he was hell bent on smashing the wrench he was holding into the Decepticon leader's face.

Many times preferably.

Watching the show for a few moments, Megatron noticed that the medic was winning the fight against his comrades. A few seconds later, Ratchet was aiming and ready to fire the wrench.

Instead of ducking or even raising an arm to defend himself, Megatron yanked on Optimus's shirt and pulled the Autobot leader in front of him, effectively shielding him from the wrench that was about to be thrown.

"Not a chance in the Pit Autobot." Megatron sneered. "Unless you want to hit your glorious leader, I wouldn't throw that wrench." Ratchet gave him the death glare from hell, but slowly backed down. He had impeccable aim, but he didn't want to chance it.

"Now." Said Megatron, spinning Optimus around to face the Autobots, keeping a tight grip on his shoulders. The Prime didn't want to face his troops, but looked up anyway. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were standing next to each other, and Sunstreaker was supporting his tired and weakened twin. Ratchet was fuming, his fingers twitching for a chance to throw something. Prowl was as stoic as usual but he was fidgeting and Jazz was sitting cross legged behind everyone, looking slightly like he was pouting.

They were all clearly mad that their leader was not fighting back.

"We are going to return to our base, and you are to return to yours. When you complete the machine, we will meet here and have another trade. Your leader for the return of our bodies. Do we have a deal?" Megatron asked, not really expecting an answer other than 'Yes' or 'Ok'.

Prowl nodded. He was technically second-in-command, so without Optimus being there, he was in command.

Megatron grinned. "Good." He pulled Optimus back around and pushed him forward, almost knocking the man off of his feet. He stumbled slightly, but recovered quickly.

That was enough for Ratchet, and he knew he had a clear shot. He stepped forward with his right foot, reared his arm back, and sent the wrench hurling through the air at breakneck speed towards the back of Megatron's head. The wrench collided solidly, making the Decepticon warlord fall forward. He landed on his hands and knees, quickly pushing himself back up and whirling around.

The CMO was smirking with his arms crossed smugly across his chest, and the twins were falling on each laughing, having gave up on trying to hide their laughter. Prowl had his arms crossed, but a smile was playing around his mouth. Jazz had fallen over backwards and was holding his stomach. Even Optimus, who was standing behind Megatron and in a position that was the epitome of 'behind enemy lines', had a small smirk on his face.

Megatron glowered at the Autobots, but suddenly grinned maniacally as a thought entered his mind. Reaching out with his right arm, he grabbed a slightly surprised Optimus by the front of the shirt and pulled him to the front. He pulled back his arm and delivered a left hook to the Primes face. Optimus hit the ground, where he was brutally kicked in the chest.

Grinning at the Autobots, Megatron reached down and pulled up the Autobot leader by the throat. Optimus refused to fight back. He was smart enough to know that if he retaliated, it would get worse. The only movement he made was making sure Megatron didn't fully cut off his windpipe.

Megatron grinned wider and sent a knee into Optimus stomach. The Prime grunted in pain and fell on his hands and knees. He reached up and wiped the blood from his mouth.

Ratchet growled, a noise so harsh that no one believed it could come from a human throat. He deposited his spare wrench into Wheeljack's hand, ignoring the pale, blood-drained face of his friend.

The engineer made a grab at the CMO, but the medic retaliated by putting his fellow Autobot into a one-handed joint lock. He looked into the now livid face of the resident mad scientist, trying to convey what he was trying to do, but to no avail.

Ratchet rolled his eyes, temper still flaring, and pushed Wheeljack away from him before stomping past Prowl.

As he stomped towards the Decepticons, he grumbled aloud.

"I have had to put up with years of your shit Optimus, but this plan has definitely got to take the cake. Of all the pit brained schemes you have come up with, this is by the far the stupidest ass one to date."

He was twenty feet away from the Cons and still marching when he addressed Megatron.

"If you are taking that damned idiot, you had better make room for one more, because that jackass ain't going anywhere without me."

Optimus looked up from his place on the ground, eyes wide.

"Ratchet! Go back to the others! That is an order." Ratchet snorted. He was only ten feet away now.

"As if Prime. You need someone to keep you out of trouble." He ignored the look of despair on his old friend/commanders face as he reached the five foot mark. Suddenly, a large black hand plucked Ratchet away from the Decepticons, and quickly carried the kicking and screaming medic back to the assembled Autobots.

Jazz sat the fuming medic down in front of him as he sat back down, making sure the CMO was in reach if he tried to pull another stupid stunt. Ratchet glared at him, promising pain the next time the saboteur ended up on his operating table, but Jazz brushed him off.

Optimus managed to throw Jazz a thankful look before Megatron sneered and pulled him up, half-leading, half-dragging the blue-haired man towards Astrotrain.

Turning back to the despaired and disheartened Autobots, Optimus quickly fired off a quick salute before turning around and entering the space ship.


	8. NOT A CHAPTER

**NOT A CHAPTER. BUT DO READ**

Sorry 'bout that. I completely forgot to put an author's note in the last chapter. My bad. But anyways, don't expect another four chapter splurge anytime soon. Seriously. The aftermath isn't pretty. But don't despair! Im going to try weekly updates! Or bi-weekly. Or Monthly. Meh. I'll figure it out later.

Whatever.

**PLEASE FAVORITE/REVIEW**

**IT IS REALLY APPRECIATED.**


	9. Chapter 9: The Reveal

**Chapter 9: The reveal**

The second he was in the ship, Optimus scanned the interior. It was a dark gray with the only light coming from a few overhead panels. There were pipes running along the upper walls, most likely carrying energon and other life fluids. Purple accented the panels here and there.

While he was looking around, he noticed that there was only one way in, and one way out, which was currently being blocked by Megatron. He wouldn't be getting out unless he wanted to try his luck with the Cybertronium walls.

Yeah, have fun with that.

As Optimus reached up to brush his hair from his eyes, he noticed that his hand was shaking. This surprised him because he normally hid his claustrophobia so well. All the stress in his life must have made it worse, he guessed.

It also didn't help that he was scared.

It wasn't the first time he had been captured, but the Autobot Commander felt ten times as vulnerable in human skin. The beginning symptoms of panic were starting to set in, even though he knew he was going to have to stay calm if he was going to get through this at least mostly unscathed.

Looking around once more, Optimus noticed a small clear tube on the wall of the ship. It was carrying a pink fluid that he knew to be their life force, energon. But for some reason, the color reminded him of his beloved, Elita-1. They hadn't seen each other for so long, and he constantly worried for her and her squadron of female Autobots on Cybertron. He missed her dearly and wished that the war would just end so that they could be reunited.

He took a deep breath. His mind was randomly throwing things around to distract him from his current predicament.

Suddenly he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of the shuttle doors closing and the thrusters starting.

Optimus had been so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed the three humans enter the shuttle, and he hadn't noticed that they had formed a semi-circle around him; Starscream to his left, Soundwave to the right, and Megatron in front.

Optimus straightened up and balled his fists as Megatron grinned and took a step towards him. The Autobot leader wiped all emotion from his face and cleared his mind. It would be easier to think if he didn't have emotions getting in the way.

Megatron smiled creepily and crossed his arms. "Well. This is certainly an unexpected situation. The great Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, is finally at the mercy of the Decepticon Empire. A long awaited victory towards our cause." He paused, hoping for a reaction from the Prime, but got nothing.

Optimus stood there, stone-faced and not moving an inch. He knew what Megatron wanted, and refused to give him that satisfaction.

The Decepticon Leader lost his grin and sneered. He paused and thought it over for a moment. His grin grew back, and became wider. "What would your dear Elita-1 think of your current situation?" he was happy to notice a slight twitch on Optimus' face and continued. "Do you think she would still love you as a human? I really don't know how she could."

Megatron knew what he said was untrue, that Optimus' mate would love him no matter what, but it wasn't often he could get a reaction out of his age old enemy.

"Look at yourself, Optimus. You are a flesh creature. You. Are. _Pathetic_." At the last word, Megatron spat in the Prime's face.

That was the last straw. Optimus narrowed his eyes and decked Megatron square in the face. The tyrant stumbled backwards and held his bleeding and now broken nose. Before Soundwave could react, Optimus was already in front of him. Stepping on the communication officer's foot, he pushed him back with the heel of his hand and roundhouse kicked Soundwave in the face.

He spun around once more, looking for Starscream but didn't see him. Optimus didn't have much time to look though, because Megatron was back on his feet and looking for revenge. Optimus charged, but Megatron pushed him back with a side kick to the chest. The Prime stumbled, but quickly regained his balance and prepared to charge.

Suddenly, Optimus world went black, and he went limp and crumpled to the floor, unconscious. Standing behind him was Starscream, who was massaging his sore knuckles after punching the Prime in the back of the head.

Megatron glared at him, angered at being denied his prey. His second-in-command simply shrugged and went back to massaging his knuckles.

A voice suddenly filled the cabin. "Decepticon base, ETA: 4 minutes." Astrotrain announced.

Megatron cracked his knuckles. "Finally!" he said. He had not informed the rest of his army about the events that had taken place. The only thing that they knew was that Sideswipe was being traded. The other soldiers had no clue who the Autobot was being traded for.

Megatron reached into a hatch and pulled out a length of rope, a black cloth bag, and a roll of duct tape. He tossed it and Starscream who was busing trying to get Soundwave steady on his feet. Megatron motioned to the unconscious form of the Autobot leader on the ground.

"Make sure he can't escape." He said. Starscream rolled his eyes, but nodded.

Making sure that Soundwave wasn't going to faceplant, the former seeker grabbed what the warlord and thrown towards him and walked towards the unconscious form on the floor of the shuttle. He sat up the limp form and pulled the mans wrists behind him, wrapping them in rope, then wrapped some more around his upper arms, securing them to the Autobots torso. After he was sure he was secure, Starscream pulled a small length of tape from the roll and plastered it over the unconscious man's mouth.

The occupants of the shuttle were suddenly shaken as Astrotrain prepared to land on the shipping dock of their underwater base. Megatron reached down and grabbed his longtime foe by the shirt and slapped his face to get him semi-conscious. The Primes eyes slowly cracked open and he was started to stand on his own. This was enough for the Decepticon leader who pulled the hood over top of the man's head.

The shuttle shook harder as Astrotrain landed and the base started to sink back into the ocean.

The ship was jostled once more as the deck reached the bottom and the shuttle door slid open. Megatron grinned wickedly, happily anticipating his troops reactions to their new captive.

The warlord looked back at Starscream and Soundwave, who was finally awake and alert. He nodded and his two subordinates each grabbed an arm of the hooded man and started to walk him out of the shuttle. Optimus didn't put up a fight.

Megatron grinned wider as he exited the shuttle and was greeted by the entire Decepticon army waiting for them. Rumble and Frenzy were among those in front, and they were nearly bouncing in anticipation. The other human-formers were standing even closer, and were trying not to get stepped on by the over eager cassettes.

The Decepticon leader nodded his head forward and Starscream and Soundwave walked the Autobot out of the shuttle. The entire base got dead silent. You could have heard a pin drop, which was an amazing feat for the normally insane level of noise that the sunken ship was accustomed to.

Megatron looked up and his troops and grinned as wide as he possibly could. It was a fairly concerning sight.

"Would you like to know which Autobot was traded for the young soldier that we formally had in our custody?" Rumble fist pumped, a habit he had picked up from YouTube. "Damn straight we do!" he said.

The Decepticon leader looked up at the small Transformer.

"Guess." He said.

Rumble didn't look happy, but began thinking anyway. This got the other troops attention and they all began to study the small form in front of them. Rumble was still thinking, not having said a name yet.

Thundercracker, being the smartest out of most of the Decepticons, got as close as he could and gasped. "No way…." He mumbled. Megatron noticed the seekers reaction and smiled. "It seems that at least one of you is smart enough to figure it out. Why don't I reveal our prisoners identity before any of you blow a fuse from thinking too hard?"

He turned and nodded to Starscream, who grabbed the hood. After receiving another nod, he pulled the hood off, revealing the identity of the man before them.

Thundercracker's eyes widened. "But… But…How….I…what?"

Megatron held up a hand. "The noble fool decided that he didn't want to risk any of his pitiful warrior's lives, so he gave himself up. A stupid decision on his part, but it is good for our cause." He looked at his troops and noticed that over half of them had passed out and the other half of them were staring blankly at the Autobot leader.

Rumble was literally shaking with uncontained glee.

"This is gonna be _fun._"

**Well… it's been a month. Oops. I do have an excuse though! I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out, and my Lieutenant is trying to help me advance the ranks at the fire station. So there. Anyways, this is the last of my pre-written material, so no promises on when the next update is coming. I will try to get one out as fast as possible though!**


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